All the snow has prompted me to write a few of the noticeable differences between life in Alaska and life in the Middle East. Enjoy...
You might be an Alaskan in the Middle East if:
- You wear a T-shirt at 45 degrees and are told by anyone you talk to that you are crazy.
- You are accused of being a criminal for carrying a leatherman
- You receive complete disbelief that a knife could ever be a necessary tool
- You are told you are from another planet because hunting and fishing is an essential part of life
- It finally snows and after two minutes everyone quickly realizes that they don't want to have a snow ball fight against you
- You look at sand dunes and wonder why the bedouins haven't tried dog teams to get around.
- When you see girls covered up you instinctively think it has more to do with weather than culture or religion.
- Power outages in the West Bank make you feel more at home than they do worry you.
- You tell people you own 320 durnums (40 acres) and they think you must be a king.
- You tell people your mom hunts, hikes, and builds log houses (after you explain a log house) and…well they just can’t imagine that any woman would ever do that, let alone enjoy it.
- You get looks of amazement and disbelief when you say that you only have 4 hours of light in winter and 20 hours of light in the summer
- You try to relate the absurd idea that in your village the closest store may be 20 miles away.
- What people here call "old fruit" you would still pay five dollars for
- Your village has a smaller population than a single Arab family.
- People refer to places like the Mount of Olives or Mount Amman and you laugh inside
- After a couple months you realize that you can tell people anything about Alaska and they will believe it
- You are told that your have snow all year round despite your insistence to the contrary.
- You explain what the polar bear club is and people start shivering.
- When it snows (on the rare occasion) people ask you to go to the store since "you are used to it". (This one just happened to me)
- People just refer to you as the Alaskan guy or Eskimo…and it makes you happy
- You hear Bedouin Arabic and think it sounds like Inupiaq (which it kinda does)
- You have great difficulty/impossibility of explaining the following:
Northern lights
Forty below
Ice Hockey
Mosquito swarms
Ice Fog
Carhartts
Akutaq
Glaciers
A 400 halibut
Moose, Caribou, Bears, or any wild animals bigger than a dog
Snowmachines
Road